Mini-Memoir #1
My Own Week of Hecc
It was Wednesday night. My mom and I had just left church and went to the bank with my nanny to get money to go buy dinner. I was just texting my friend that I felt as if me and my bess fwend have become different and right as I went to send the text that's when I got a text that would ruin my whole night and send me into a deep hole of depression. For you to truly understand how I felt that night and a week or so to come I have to give you a bit of background.
In 6th grade I became friends with a girl named Jordan. I don’t know how it happened or what even made us meet but we did and it was amazing. It was a friendship created February 16, 2013 that would most definitely be a ride or die one, or so we thought. As time went on we got closer and this friendship went from just friends to being best friends to a level up that we made because our friendship was far from normal, we became bess fwends. I thought that nothing in this entire world could break this bond, I had found my soulmate though it wasn't in a lovey marrying way but in the way were you find your alike opposite and pull together like magnets. This was the magic that came from middle school and all I could hope to keep in high school
When we got to high school we started to fight a lot more. The worst fight we ever had in 9th grade was over a guy she dated that I knew was bad for her but she didn’t listen and for a day or so our friendship had become nothing but debris from a broken heart. We soon made up as we always did and got even closer. The rest of 9th grade we had our ups and downs like all relationships but we knew that there was nothing that could rip us apart, not even a teacher who moved us across the room from each other only to find that we still would find a way to talk in class.
The beginning of 10th grade was like the continuance of 9th which was the continuance of 8th and so on. At this point you could even fool our reflections into think we were dating because our friendship was more than blooming, it was exploding. Fast forward a little further into the beginning of the year somewhere between September and October and I was asking Jordan (who by this time I’ve given the name Jordy Poo) to hook me up with a guy, this is where it all began. This is the time I wish I could take back. After her saying a few of her friends thought I was cute I wanted her to give me their numbers. I kept asking (which I tend to do a lot) and finally it must have been enough, that Wednesday would be the last time I ask her this.
I texted her that night like I usually did and something seemed off. That week I had noticed we had been distant and that day she gave me nothing more than a smile in the morning, I wish I would have talked to her at school then when everything was still okay. I was also texting my friend Seba who I decided to talk to about Jordan and just as I sent a text to Jordan asking for the guys number, I was typing a text to Seba saying “I feel like jordan doesn't like me anymore” and before I could hit send jordy sent me a heart breaking text that said “I think we should take a break from being friends”. I have never felt more mad and yet so sad at the same time before then. I was upset with myself for allowing myself to get so close to her and for even going out of my way to do things for her. I fell into a deep depression worse than the Great Depression and my family noticed the happy ball of sunshine turn into nothing but a crying ball of darkness and careless anger. I began to talk about her trying to make it seem like I didn’t care but I don’t think I was fooling anyone because I couldn’t even fool myself. I hated how happy she looked without me because it made me feel like letting go of me was like throwing away a dirty napkin, very simple. A rumor began to spread about her that I disagreed with because I knew who she really was so I told her about it so she could stop this, She then apologized and after much talking and a very scary and bumpy friendship we made it through this very rough patch, we will have been friends for 4 years on February 16, 2018. I don’t know the true reason why she ended our friendship of that week and if i’m being honest with myself I don’t know if I want to.
I did not realize until now that this helped me see who I was or that it helped shape who I would become. I saw that I wasn’t a person who would easily let things go, I am a fighter. But most importantly I realized that I had become the kind of person who I would love to know. I thought that I would be able to just let people say whatever about her after that week but I cared too much about her despite what she did. That made me into a more caring person and the whole friendship turned me into a more forgiving person. Even though this was one of the worst moments in my life, I kind of appreciate it. We are still friends now but the friendship will never be the same it will always be bumpy with cracked like a broken road but we will always be Jordan and Lonnie.
My Own Week of Hecc
It was Wednesday night. My mom and I had just left church and went to the bank with my nanny to get money to go buy dinner. I was just texting my friend that I felt as if me and my bess fwend have become different and right as I went to send the text that's when I got a text that would ruin my whole night and send me into a deep hole of depression. For you to truly understand how I felt that night and a week or so to come I have to give you a bit of background.
In 6th grade I became friends with a girl named Jordan. I don’t know how it happened or what even made us meet but we did and it was amazing. It was a friendship created February 16, 2013 that would most definitely be a ride or die one, or so we thought. As time went on we got closer and this friendship went from just friends to being best friends to a level up that we made because our friendship was far from normal, we became bess fwends. I thought that nothing in this entire world could break this bond, I had found my soulmate though it wasn't in a lovey marrying way but in the way were you find your alike opposite and pull together like magnets. This was the magic that came from middle school and all I could hope to keep in high school
When we got to high school we started to fight a lot more. The worst fight we ever had in 9th grade was over a guy she dated that I knew was bad for her but she didn’t listen and for a day or so our friendship had become nothing but debris from a broken heart. We soon made up as we always did and got even closer. The rest of 9th grade we had our ups and downs like all relationships but we knew that there was nothing that could rip us apart, not even a teacher who moved us across the room from each other only to find that we still would find a way to talk in class.
The beginning of 10th grade was like the continuance of 9th which was the continuance of 8th and so on. At this point you could even fool our reflections into think we were dating because our friendship was more than blooming, it was exploding. Fast forward a little further into the beginning of the year somewhere between September and October and I was asking Jordan (who by this time I’ve given the name Jordy Poo) to hook me up with a guy, this is where it all began. This is the time I wish I could take back. After her saying a few of her friends thought I was cute I wanted her to give me their numbers. I kept asking (which I tend to do a lot) and finally it must have been enough, that Wednesday would be the last time I ask her this.
I texted her that night like I usually did and something seemed off. That week I had noticed we had been distant and that day she gave me nothing more than a smile in the morning, I wish I would have talked to her at school then when everything was still okay. I was also texting my friend Seba who I decided to talk to about Jordan and just as I sent a text to Jordan asking for the guys number, I was typing a text to Seba saying “I feel like jordan doesn't like me anymore” and before I could hit send jordy sent me a heart breaking text that said “I think we should take a break from being friends”. I have never felt more mad and yet so sad at the same time before then. I was upset with myself for allowing myself to get so close to her and for even going out of my way to do things for her. I fell into a deep depression worse than the Great Depression and my family noticed the happy ball of sunshine turn into nothing but a crying ball of darkness and careless anger. I began to talk about her trying to make it seem like I didn’t care but I don’t think I was fooling anyone because I couldn’t even fool myself. I hated how happy she looked without me because it made me feel like letting go of me was like throwing away a dirty napkin, very simple. A rumor began to spread about her that I disagreed with because I knew who she really was so I told her about it so she could stop this, She then apologized and after much talking and a very scary and bumpy friendship we made it through this very rough patch, we will have been friends for 4 years on February 16, 2018. I don’t know the true reason why she ended our friendship of that week and if i’m being honest with myself I don’t know if I want to.
I did not realize until now that this helped me see who I was or that it helped shape who I would become. I saw that I wasn’t a person who would easily let things go, I am a fighter. But most importantly I realized that I had become the kind of person who I would love to know. I thought that I would be able to just let people say whatever about her after that week but I cared too much about her despite what she did. That made me into a more caring person and the whole friendship turned me into a more forgiving person. Even though this was one of the worst moments in my life, I kind of appreciate it. We are still friends now but the friendship will never be the same it will always be bumpy with cracked like a broken road but we will always be Jordan and Lonnie.
Letters to Muh Shelf
Alonika Anderson-Verser
22673 Clifford Ave.
East Lansing MI,
Alonika Anderson-Verser
0192 Trout St.
Lansing MI, 48906
Dear younger Alonika:
First of all stop. You really gotta stop being so not you all the time. You are trash at not bending from peer pressure and i'm sure you don’t know what this means and rest assure you will still not be good with English by the time you are 16 in fact you might get significantly worse but we do figure out how to use to, too, and two and there, they’re, and there. But that’s beside the point back to the peer pressure thing, stop! You don’t have to try and fit in and be cool it’s so much more fun being an oddball, people actually remember you. Plus by being one of the odd ones you are going to meet one of the best people you are going to ever know, keep her she's cool you’ll know who i’m talking about when the time comes.
Second thing, stop being so shy. People always say you are outgoing so don’t let them be wrong girl! Get out there and go for the guys you want you have nothing to lose and yeah you might not think you are pretty at all but trust me it kinda gets better. Also don’t hit your neighbor with a bat when he asks you out, that was dumb. Just stay calm and go for it or try to get to know him more. On March 10th, 2018 you are going to run into a cute guy at the theaters, if all goes well. Tell him he’s cute because you probably won't see him again.
When things start to go wrong in your life, you’ll know what im talking about, tell someone you wont be in trouble and I promise things will get better and you’ll get through it. You will always have those emotional scars but that shapes you. All I am really trying to say self is that you are and always will be the odd one out and you’ll always be different you will never really fit in I promise. But embrace it is good thing! Don’t get depressed by it because we are going to be someone in life I just know we will. Don’t be scared to tell people how you feel and what’s wrong.
A little side note here don’t forget to do French and take the final, also tell mom that moving in with Lori is a bad idea and that she should drop her, if I can prevent it we will not be a sad cookie. If you are unable to do this then around christmas the mail is on top of the cupboards and when they start being rude TAKE ALL ELECTRONICS AND GTFO (after you give them a piece of your mind first). Also squishy abs can only do so much for you, maybe don’t be so against exercise but stay thicc please, I beg, thigh gaps are a no no for us.
Love,
Alonika Anderson-Verser
Slightly more attractive you.(16)
Dear older Alonika:
Don’t forget what you always dreamed you’d be. Don’t forget that you wanted to be an actress to inspire and give away money not be a greedy jerk like most actors become. Remember that you don’t want to fit in and if for some reason you start to want to do not be that missing puzzle piece of the rude actors. If you became an actress (which I have faith you have or are almost one) I want you to take half of your money then half of that and donate it to charities that younger you (me) would want to. The other half of that half I want you to send to our family (the ones who were there for us) because we both know that that's the best thing to do considering the fact that we always wanted to find a way to give back to them.
If by some chance you forgot our plan on how we wanted to live i’ll remind you. We do not want to live in a giant house despite the amount of money we have. You better be living and an otay sized house, enough to have a pool of course, but not to big of each just enough to be able to comfortably fit a family and some pets and stuff. Do not forget to stick to your guns when it comes to what you want. Don’t just let our husband or agent or anyone walk all over you and control you. Don’t forget who we actually wanted to be and what we stand for. I have such high hopes for you older me and I really hope you live up to them. No pressure though man, no pressure at all (there's a little pressure). Also Disney World Gurl! DO NOT FORGET TO TAKE YOUR FAMILY TO DISNEY!
Before I stop talking to you older self i’d just like to ask you a few questions. Do we ever get married and do we actually love the person? Do we change a lot or are we still a chilly chill person? Is Izayik still right by our side like we hoped for, or did he go and make a life on his own? Do we have kids that are named Bruno and Tessa and are they all the races? We went to college in L.A. right? And we did good right? Is Jordy Poo still our ride or die or did we fall out? Can we write in cursive and are we any better at the English thing? Did we learn Hawaiian or whatever the language is? Tattoos are on our bod right?! I wish I knew the answer to this but sadly only you do right now. (OMG what if in another universe when we/ I wrote this you are just now finding it as soon as I upload it to the website and you are reading it and answering the questions and getting all shook! OMG my world is Q U A K I N G !)
Love,
Alonika Anderson-Verser
Younger and probably less attractive you. (16)
Alonika Anderson-Verser
22673 Clifford Ave.
East Lansing MI,
Alonika Anderson-Verser
0192 Trout St.
Lansing MI, 48906
Dear younger Alonika:
First of all stop. You really gotta stop being so not you all the time. You are trash at not bending from peer pressure and i'm sure you don’t know what this means and rest assure you will still not be good with English by the time you are 16 in fact you might get significantly worse but we do figure out how to use to, too, and two and there, they’re, and there. But that’s beside the point back to the peer pressure thing, stop! You don’t have to try and fit in and be cool it’s so much more fun being an oddball, people actually remember you. Plus by being one of the odd ones you are going to meet one of the best people you are going to ever know, keep her she's cool you’ll know who i’m talking about when the time comes.
Second thing, stop being so shy. People always say you are outgoing so don’t let them be wrong girl! Get out there and go for the guys you want you have nothing to lose and yeah you might not think you are pretty at all but trust me it kinda gets better. Also don’t hit your neighbor with a bat when he asks you out, that was dumb. Just stay calm and go for it or try to get to know him more. On March 10th, 2018 you are going to run into a cute guy at the theaters, if all goes well. Tell him he’s cute because you probably won't see him again.
When things start to go wrong in your life, you’ll know what im talking about, tell someone you wont be in trouble and I promise things will get better and you’ll get through it. You will always have those emotional scars but that shapes you. All I am really trying to say self is that you are and always will be the odd one out and you’ll always be different you will never really fit in I promise. But embrace it is good thing! Don’t get depressed by it because we are going to be someone in life I just know we will. Don’t be scared to tell people how you feel and what’s wrong.
A little side note here don’t forget to do French and take the final, also tell mom that moving in with Lori is a bad idea and that she should drop her, if I can prevent it we will not be a sad cookie. If you are unable to do this then around christmas the mail is on top of the cupboards and when they start being rude TAKE ALL ELECTRONICS AND GTFO (after you give them a piece of your mind first). Also squishy abs can only do so much for you, maybe don’t be so against exercise but stay thicc please, I beg, thigh gaps are a no no for us.
Love,
Alonika Anderson-Verser
Slightly more attractive you.(16)
Dear older Alonika:
Don’t forget what you always dreamed you’d be. Don’t forget that you wanted to be an actress to inspire and give away money not be a greedy jerk like most actors become. Remember that you don’t want to fit in and if for some reason you start to want to do not be that missing puzzle piece of the rude actors. If you became an actress (which I have faith you have or are almost one) I want you to take half of your money then half of that and donate it to charities that younger you (me) would want to. The other half of that half I want you to send to our family (the ones who were there for us) because we both know that that's the best thing to do considering the fact that we always wanted to find a way to give back to them.
If by some chance you forgot our plan on how we wanted to live i’ll remind you. We do not want to live in a giant house despite the amount of money we have. You better be living and an otay sized house, enough to have a pool of course, but not to big of each just enough to be able to comfortably fit a family and some pets and stuff. Do not forget to stick to your guns when it comes to what you want. Don’t just let our husband or agent or anyone walk all over you and control you. Don’t forget who we actually wanted to be and what we stand for. I have such high hopes for you older me and I really hope you live up to them. No pressure though man, no pressure at all (there's a little pressure). Also Disney World Gurl! DO NOT FORGET TO TAKE YOUR FAMILY TO DISNEY!
Before I stop talking to you older self i’d just like to ask you a few questions. Do we ever get married and do we actually love the person? Do we change a lot or are we still a chilly chill person? Is Izayik still right by our side like we hoped for, or did he go and make a life on his own? Do we have kids that are named Bruno and Tessa and are they all the races? We went to college in L.A. right? And we did good right? Is Jordy Poo still our ride or die or did we fall out? Can we write in cursive and are we any better at the English thing? Did we learn Hawaiian or whatever the language is? Tattoos are on our bod right?! I wish I knew the answer to this but sadly only you do right now. (OMG what if in another universe when we/ I wrote this you are just now finding it as soon as I upload it to the website and you are reading it and answering the questions and getting all shook! OMG my world is Q U A K I N G !)
Love,
Alonika Anderson-Verser
Younger and probably less attractive you. (16)